CARLA

A description of my physical appearance and, I suppose, my behavior is important with this next story.   It would help also if you have a recollection of old TV shows.

I am a short woman, with curly black hair.  I tend to smile alot and have been described as feisty or spunky.  I have a good sense of humor and can use sarcasm in an appropriate way.   The old TV show you should draw your attention to is "Cheers".  If you are not familiar with the show,  look it up.  It was a 30 minute sitcom filmed in a bar in Boston that will make you laugh out loud.  

Carla, played by Rhea Perlman, is the feisty barmaid from the show, "Cheers".  She is very short with black curly hair.  She is feisty and shows a lot of spunkiness.  Sound familiar?

Josh, a patient I saw many times, saw a similiarity between me and Carla.  So, that's what he called me, Carla.  However, he did not just call me that in the clinic, he spread the word around the small community I was working in.  Let me explain.

A new patient arrived at the clinic one day and said she had an appointment with Carla.  I immediately knew she had talked to Josh.  I asked her how she knew him. She stated,  "All I know is that, an electrician is at my house (Josh was an electrician) and when I told him I was coming here for physical therapy, he told me to say the name, Carla."

Another time, there was a concert in town. I was going to with a girl friend and Josh happened to be going with his wife.  I made the mistake of telling Josh where my seats were.  My friend and I had just arrived at our seats and sat down, when Josh appeared about 4 rows in front of us. 

With a loud booming voice he spoke to everyone in our section saying, "hey everyone, Carla from Cheers is sitting in this section, right there."  Of course he pointed directly at me.

When I left that small town clinic for another larger clinic, Josh found me.  He walked into my new clinic and asked the receptionist if he could talk to me.  However, he asked her to call me Carla over the intercom.  I heard the page and immediately knew that Josh was in the building.

Hearing the name Carla will always put a smile on my face and a memory in my mind of a fun patient named Josh. 

"NOOOO, I DON'T SMOKE ANYTHING"

The new laws in marijuana around the country have shed a new light on this next incident.  Maybe the individual would have received the job if he was in Colorado, but in Kansas there was no way. 

After 30 years of  outpatient physical therapy I needed a change in scenery.  I transferred to an industrial rehabilitation clinic.  In this clinic the focus was on the working individual, such as workers compensation.  We also administered post offer physical ability testing for many companies.  Post offer testing* is administered after the job offer is made, but the individual must pass this testing to be employed.  So, it is part of the hiring process.
The individual, let me call him Mark, was being tested for a position in a warehouse.  He would be handling a forklift and other motorized equipment as well as lifting heavy amounts manually.  He needed to be physically strong, mentally alert and stable on his feet.

The physical therapy tech in the clinic performed the initial intake of this client, involving some paperwork and a brief history.  I noticed a peculiar expression on the tech's face when she walked over to me to discuss the client. 
"I think Mark is high.  He smells of marijuana."  she stated.

At this point, I felt it was time for me to assess the situation.
"Hi Mark, I am Becky, the physical therapist.  I have a few questions.  Do you smoke?"  I asked.

"Noooo,  I don't smoke."  He replied, shaking his head.

"Do you smoke anything?"  I asked again.

"Noooo, I don't smoke anything."  He replied again.

"Well", I stated, " you smell of marijuana".

"Oh", he replied, "the guy that drove me here was smoking."

With a tilt of my head and questioning look I replied, "He was smoking marijuana?"

And then boom, it was like a V8 tap on the head, and Mark remembered that smoking marijuana is illegal in Kansas.  He began a bit of a stutter and stated, "well uh,  not maijuana, uh, you know that stuff that smells like marijuana."

Hmmmm, not sure what the smell alike stuff is called.  But considering that I had no direct evidence of marijuana smoking, other than my intuition and my very good sense of smell , I proceeded with the testing.  At one point in the test, he was required to maintain the squatting position while performing a task with his hands.  While doing this activity,  Mark just rolled over on to the floor to his side, in a bit of a haze, unable to maintain the position, and began laughing a bit.  
Busted. I guess my sense of smell and intuition did not let me down.

Obviously, Mark was not recommended for the job at the warehouse, due to being unstable on his feet and not being mentally alert.  However the underlying reason for not being recommended was just plain stupidity.

The lesson learned from Mark is to not smoke marijuana before you do a post offer test for a job, in Kansas and I might even venture to say, in Colorado as well.